Menopause, please! Why did you take away the one thing that affects every single part of my body and therefore every single thing I do in a day?
Of the many changes brought on 5 years ago when I officially entered menopause and lingers like my drunk uncle at a wedding is insomnia. Here’s the worst thing – it’s become much worse causing a chain reaction of exhaustion the next day featuring a stunning lack of focus and concentration. Then the smallest infractions make me fantasize about committing GBH. The chain continues where giving up exercise is a distinct possibility because I’m simply too tired and the aches and pains (also thanks meno) increase. Can I blame meno only? Ummmm, yes. I can. On the flip side, one of the positives of menopause is you realize, Hey I’ve lived a lot of my life already, paid my dues and spent most of it saying and doing the right things to make other people happy, but now I can be more me and to hell with what anyone else thinks…but I digress…back to the worst bit of mid-life.
I want this blog to mostly positive (just like my personality) so here are the tricks and tips I’ve discovered over the years that actually make a difference. So, keep in mind, the no phone in the bedroom thing … not for me. It didn’t work for me personally and besides, I look forward to waking up and scrolling through Instagram in bed with a coffee. Remember, we’re at a time of our lives where we do what brings us joy – we decide. In the spirit of sharing, here’s what knocks me out:
- Sleep Gummies. I take 2 half an hour before bed. I personally use ZzzQuil. They are actually a delicious little evening treat. Two birds and all that!
- I have an evening bath about an hour or so before bed. It’s not utilitarian like my morning shower. It’s not for shaving, exfoliating and hair care. It’s just to relax and listen to my aptly named “chill” playlist on Spotify full of only quiet, meaningful melodies in a darkened room. Always, a soothing scented Epsom salt concoction (Dr. Teal is my fave) and lovely, rich, fragrant body crème after (I die for Philosophy’s Fresh Cream or Pure Grace). Overall, this tip comes down to the warm water combined with relaxing scents around you as you slip into the sheets.
- So simple, but I always turn down my bedding early evening and have my book and readers (I’m fifty faux – I have readers everywhere) on my very organized and uncluttered bedside table. When I’m exhausted and falling into bed the last thing I need is to start pulling off 37 Homesense pillows. Speaking of bedside tables, my top drawer contains a dish with 3 incredibly special rosaries, which often if I’ve had a bad day, I just open and see them there. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Think of placing a small memento somewhere you’ll see right before bed to put things into perspective.
- I read. I don’t subscribe to no e-reader at bedtime rule. If I use the light once I start to drift off from a good non-violent mystery or a hilarious Marian Keyes, I’m awake again with the reach for the switch. Reading also helps me concentrate on others’ lives not my likely stressful workday, worrying about things I cannot control for at least a few more hours.
- If (when, who am I kidding) I do wake up in the middle of the night with worries, I repeat a mantra “I’m giving this to God”. It works for me, but your mantra can be anything from “I’m safe right now” to “Sephora, Sephora, Sephora” Do you, Doll.
- Don’t drink before bed. Let’s not pretend we drink to relax, when we know it’s a stimulant. Especially in menopause. I live for a glass of vino, but I need sleep to live. There’s a time and a place, before bed isn’t one of them.
- Finally, the gratitude thing. I get it I do. There are many things I’m grateful for that I never acknowledge – all true., but to write three things down before bed or first thing in the morning pre-caffeine will not happen. Let’s revisit the major benefit of being in mid-century modern life – I do what the eff I want (another good mantra, but maybe not for sleep). However, I agree with it in theory it so, before I lay me down to sleep, I think about something I’m grateful for – maybe it’s a person, pet, a memory, or a Brooks Brothers sale find. Not so much to “practice gratitude”, but to put my mind in a calm, positive place before sleep takes me – for hopefully 7 or 8 hours.
I hope these simplistic, but effective tips help. More to come as I’ll try anything when it comes to deep, restful, beautiful and menopausally elusive sleep.
#Sparkleoften